Heartache again....

My dear baby Zoe, is now in the hospital, suffering in pain. T___T

Since Monday (1st June), she told me her stomach feeling weird and funny. That day, we both rushed to the toilet like a competition. What a good 'couple' we are.

Tuesday, she was still feeling the same. I told her I felt like goldfish swimming in my stomach, her was worse, a shark is swimming in her stomach.

Wednesday morning, I reached at work and her place was empty. I sms her and asked, she said her stomach pain until she couldn't stand straight. Leng ti (pretty aunty) brought her to see the doctor on Tuesday night and in the morning. But in the afternoon, when I was still at work, she called me.

"Baby.... can you please go ask which hospital I can go..... using the company medical card?" her voice was like sooooo weak and trembling, like passing out at anytime soon. I quickly ran to JJ, asked her about it. I could feel my heart was like going to bounce out from my mouth anytime soon.

Once I got it, I called her back to tell her. That night, her mm informed me that she had been admitted to the hospital in Bangsar.

After a few days, she was discharged after doing ultrasound and scope check-up. The doctor said something about the acid and some 'burnt' part at her esophagus.

On Monday (8th June), she was still resting at home because doctor advised her to do so. She was thinking she could back to work the next day, while talking to her on msn in the after when I got home, she told me she's in great pain again. In the end, she's back to the hospital again.

That night, I had my heartache..... worrying about her and what is happening to her...... She's scared and worried as well. I did tell her nothing bad, she's going to recover very soon. But me myself is actually more afraid and worried. I had trouble falling asleep.

The next day, I went to visit her with Rachel and Asif. Going to the hospital is something really hard for me... 3 of my closest went into the hospital and that were the end of their journey.... Being rushed to the hospital or paying visits really terrify me... I feel the sore and bad feelings in my stomach and heart just to think of it.

The first time, when I was 14, grandpa was staying in the hospital for quite a long time. Watching him to suffer, was something really really painful. He screamed and cried for the pain, complained that he saw black figures waiting to take him away from us (he's a Christian, so it's something quite difficult to explain and scary to see for us), that was the moment that will stick in my mind forever. He passed away at the age of 83.

The second, my grandma, when I was 16. She had cancer in her pancreas. Hospital and her house were the places she stayed. I'm happy that I did spend a lot of time with her at her house when I was actually having my end of year school break that time. Whenever the time she was at home, I went there to be with her and watched tv with her. She used to take care of me when I was still young. She passed away at the age of 75 if not mistaken.

The third, my dad, when I was 18. He had lungs cancer. I can still remember one day when I came back from college, mom called and said dad was in critical, his blood pressure was dropping drastically. Hon Wei sent me to the hospital asap. Those feelings are really scarry.... I can still feel it now... During the time where all cell cancer filled all the space in his lungs, he couldn't breathe properly, couldn't smoke anymore... he just held the cigarette between his fingers.... I'll remember forever how cigarettes ended my dad's life.

That was something really scary to recall. Every 2 years, it happened. It's really hard to put in words....

If it's not someone really close to me, I don't think I'd be going to the hospital..... Lucky enough, I had the company from Rachel and Asif...... If not, I don't know how were I going to go through it.....

Taking body temp.
We joked about her suspected to have A (H1N1). :P

Pity de baby... the hand is one size bigger.... sob sob

I wish her to recover as soon as possible. I pray for you everyday. Angga does the same too. With so many other wishes, you'll get well in no time!! Woooosh!!!!!



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I had something with needle as well..... As I keep having this nausea and giddiness, I thought it was because my eyes. So I went to see the panel doctor to get a referral letter. He doesn't think that it has anything to do with my eyes.

So he gave me medicine to prevent giddiness. If it persisted, I had to do a blood test.

Yes, the giddiness definitely persisted. And I went to draw the blood last Friday. Dr. Kang wasn't there. Another doctor that doesn't look like a doc, look more like a construction worker. He got ginger beer on the desk, I smelled cigarettes from his body and the desk was so messy. I got nervous when seeing that doc and thinking, he's going to draw my blood.... damn!!!

He tied my arm with a glove, then, slapping it to get the vine... for so many times, and said not showing, not showing... *faint* Finally, he took out the needle, dropped it on the floor. WTF!!! So clumsy!! I was so worried that time and thinking, is he really a doctor???

I closed my eyes as he was going to poke in the needle.... "Smart" enough, he poked in with my arm stretched. The pain was like... making all the nerves in your body to be twisted and stranggled?? And all the hair stood, with the each muscles tensed!! He did not give up, he twisted the needle while it was still in my arm. OH MY!!!!!!!!

Finally, enough of blood. Took out the needle, and pressed the 'injured' part damn hard, and pushed to bend my arm. I could feel it was all swollen..... tears were about to roll down....

It looked like this that afternoon.

Second day.

Third day.

Fourth day.

No thanks to that 'barbarian' looking doc for what he had done. HUMPH!!

I'd been waiting for the blood test results. Then I got it on Wednesday (1oth June). I was blanked, didn't know how to react of what he just told me (not the barbarian... the usual doc).

Dr Kang:" Your blood test shows that you have no many problems. Basically you're healthy. Just that your hemoglobin is a little bit abnormal. Normally the life span of hemoglobin for normal person is about 3 months, and yours only 2 months. That's why you feel giddy all the time. Besides, you're tested to be a thalassaemia minor. No big effects to your daily life, but nausea and giddiness. But before you carry a baby or get married, get you partner to test for thalassaemia as well. If not your baby might have the chance not to live beyond teenage."

Oh.... hmmm........ ar.......... blank.

Gribbles.... again.

Thank goodness it has chinese, so mom can read as well.

Today, I ate one tablet of "Tanakan" that given by Doctor Kang. As he said, it's for my blood circulation, better circulation. It didn't help me, again. I got all giddy, nausea. In the end, I vomited in the toilet while I was still at work. Plus, I had a hectic day, and bugged,pissed by Winnie the Ding Dong again. Idiot number 1.

I got home, vomited again. Now, still spinning.... Dang!!! And Rachel just told me she might have dengue fever. Now having fever and symptoms.... WHAT's happening weyyyyyyyy~~~~~!!!!!

URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


--Jenn a.k.a. blueyfetes--